Dear blogging followers, I issue you an apology for, again, being gone so long. You can cut me slack or not, but I was off having the wedding of my dreams and can't nobody hold me down! I'm happy like a room without a roof! And I want to know what love is, I want you to show it. And also, I haven't had a great night's sleep in 2 weeks, so sorry too for the silliness.
I can't actually even remember what my last blog was about...Ok, I think it was about Copan. Since then we traveled into the United States, into Mexico, back to the United States, and finally to Guatemala. I will definitely post on some of those travels and the events that transpired during the 20 day whirlwind I've experienced soon, but until then, I am leaving you with lessons we've learned along the way (so far).
Perhaps I mentioned before, sorrily we have a tendency for learning lessons we already knew again, the hard way. It's annoying when someone else tells you, "I told you so" and it's even more annoying when you tell yourself. We just should have known...
So here we go.
Lessons You Already Knew but Learned Again the Hard Way Anyway
1.
During holiday seasons (i.e. Semana Santa) buy your tickets in advance. There was a reason multiple people asked you if you already purchased your ticket. Why did you think you knew better than everyone else? Hopefully 2.5 hours waiting for a boat and arriving short of your destination helped you learn to listen to others.
2.
When negotiating cab fare (or any other fare) specify if that is the total cost or per person cost. Maybe after half a dozen cab rides where you pay double what you thought you negotiated you will find yourself wiser.
3.
If you are talking about San Pedro Sula, then say, "San Pedro Sula." You can even say "San Pedro" but you can't say "Sula." Well you can, but then you can also end up in a different town altogether. Quit being so lazy. Or cool. You don't know the slang yet so just say the entire name of where you are going so you can get there.
4.
If you take the last bus of the day, make sure it isn't broken. So funny (not at all funny) that you will actually have the conversation with your husband, "There are 3 buses, 5am, 6am, and 7am. Probably it would be best to take the 6am 'just in case' and just get there a bit early in case anything happens. After all, this is the only one day where we have to get where we are going on time. What do you think?" Then your husband agrees that you are probably right (such a good hubby). Still, you decide to take the 7am bus so you can "sleep in." You completely dismiss all of the common sense you just expressed and ignore the fact that every morning you wake up at 5:30am anyway. If you would have just done what you know you should have, you wouldn't have anxiety when you show up at the bus to find the ticket-taker (who is also the mechanic) lying under the bus knocking things around with a big wrench. The driver tells you the bus won't start but that maybe the mechanic knows how to fix it. After 20 minute it seems as though the bus might start ! And the way to find out? Let the bus start rolling down the hill and pop the clutch. With a bus. A school bus. But presto chango, the bus starts! Only to now observe that as the bus is rolling towards a bridge, the mechanic and another man are throwing blocks and large rocks under the back wheel of the bus to get it to stop. They aren't very good at it and keep missing which seems to cause more anxiety for everyone as the bus is not allowed to cross the bridge and is making no progress towards breaking. Eventually the rocks and blocks land in front of the back tires and the bus comes to a halt. Because this is the ONE day you HAVE to get where you are going, you get on the bus that might not have breaks and say to yourself, "well if we would have showed up just now, we wouldn't even know that there had been any problems." As they say, ignorance is bliss.
5.
Copan and Copan Ruinas are not necessarily the same place. This seems oddly similar to #3. Imagine that you buy a ticket to New York expecting your train to take you all the way to Grand Central Station and instead it drops you off just across the Pennsylvania state line. Hopefully there is a nice Amish family to take you in because that was the last train today.
6.
When you are a visitor in a new country, do not think that you know the bus schedule better than all the locals you talk to. You might think we couldn't possibly be this stupid or ignorant, but we were. Sometimes you just have to be reminded that you can not will things into existence. Have you read that book, The Secret, or something like that? It's some load of crap all about the power of attraction and how if you just "put it out there" then things will be. It sites examples of people driving around San Francisco and Manhattan and just thinking "there should be a parking spot right in front of where I am going" and because you think that and "put it out there" it happens. How can anyone believe this??! What whackadoodles! Well on this day we were those whacckadoodles. When we were told the only return bus is at 4:30pm, we decided this just couldn't be. It didn't make sense to us that there wouldn't be many passing buses all day long. After all, there were many buses heading out of Copan, there had to be just as many returning, right? No. Actually there doesn't. After waiting "just 30 more minutes" ten times (literally 10 times) with no food and little water on the side of the road because "of course a bus will come any minute", we ended up getting on the one 4:30 bus we had been told about, at 5pm. This was a long day.
7.
When passing through customs, get rid of your fruit first. Or don't claim it or do something that resembles common sense! But do not keep the uneaten apple and declare it on your customs form. Remember how you can't even bring baby carrots back to California from Hawaii? Yes, you remember. Then why in the world would you think you can take an apple from Honduras into the United States and then onward to Mexico? You cannot do that. You can eat the apple first. You can throw the apple out. Or your can not declare it and play dumb if you get caught. But you cannot keep your declared apple. If you do you will get a big X at the customs kiosk. Then you will go back to the end of the line. The long line. The long line of all people who drew an X. So probably, a long line of idiots who don't know how to travel. Yep, now that's you. How embarrassing. So after you wait in line for an extra 45 min you get that customs official who really needed someone to talk to. He said "Well if I just had one piece of advice for people coming into the country, it would be NEVER have fruits or vegetables with you, never. I mean really, you can never bring those in, to any country really. You gotta eat em or throw em out. And if you don't declare them and you get caught, that's a $300 fine right there, and then you get an X every time you come in the country for the rest of your life and they strip search you too. Every time. You guys did the right thing here." Then he said that, all of that, 3 more times. Just kept repeating it. Then he didn't even take our apple. We still had the apple! We had to go to another line and wait some more. After that line we put all our stuff through a scanner and they didn't even see our apple. So we said, "we just need to get rid of our apple." The next guy takes our apple, gives it a good twice-over, and checks the sticker: Made in the USA. The apple we bought in Honduras and were bringing back into the USA was made in the USA and thanks to that sticker, we got to keep our apple. Are you kidding me?! Because of the USA sticker we get to keep it?! After all of that. You better believe we ate that apple and learned our lesson with every last bite.
8.
Spirit Airline IS the worst airline. You knew this. Your friends knew this. Anyone who ever knew anyone that flew Spirit even once knew it, but it wasn't enough. You forgot that you already knew that you get what you pay for. And when you pay a low price for something that you expect will be crappy, it probably will be crappy. Spirit Airline is crappy and have terrible customer service. There is a reason their employees don't wear name tags; this way you can't say who they are when you call to complain. This time we were harassed at 4:30am by the crabby woman, who clearly hates her life, issuing us boarding passes. Actually she wouldn't issue us boarding passes because we did not have a return flight. Yeah lady, we are on a trip around the world, we don't have a return flight. She said she cannot issue us a ticket without proof of a return ticket. Are you fricking kidding me? First of all, this plane is taking me to Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Can I at least get there and take my chances with another Spirit employee? Maybe they have had their morning coffee by then. Fortunately for us, I write down our travel info in a little pocketbook I have and had the flight info and confirmation number of a flight we have from Guatemala to Nicaragua in a month. She looked at it and said "Anyone could write down information like that. I need proof." Seriously?! Because you can print off electronic tickets a month in advance? NO! You can't! And you know that because you work for an airline. She says we can pull it up on our phones. NO! We can't! Are you listening to a word we are saying?? We are traveling AROUND THE WORLD. We do not have a cell phone. She can tell we are pissed and talks to her boss. She comes back no better than when she left. She cannot issue us a boarding pass without proof. I could go on forever about how senseless this is. People book one way tickets ALL THE TIME and then returns or onward tickets at a later time. Even if Guatemala wants to make sure I don't stay there until I die, they can harass me when I arrive, not you trying to keep me grounded in O'Hare. Ultimately we have to get our laptop out, log on to the airport internet, and show her an email with the same information I showed her before. Reluctantly I think, she issues us tickets. We do not thank her. On purpose we do not thank you because we did not find your customer service or personality worthy of a thanks. She yells "You're welcome" in a not-so-nice tone as we walk away. Never again, Spirit. Never again.
