Tomato, tomatto, potato, potatto

There is more than one way to skin a cat... Many paths lead to the same place... Same same...

It seems as though we have come up with many cute phrases to suggest that there is more than one way to get something done. Sometimes we even try to trick ourselves into thinking that these many different ways are all good ways. To each her/his own, right? Come on, who are you kidding? Deep down we all think our way is best way, don't we? I mean, seriously, probably it is...

Traveling abroad can certainly challenge one's way of thinking though. Sometimes the way you do something or want to do something just isn't an option so you are forced to adapt. As I've explained before, sometimes you learn it the hard way.

I've always thought that cultural differences were intriguing, and now I am learning many of them first hand. Some are subtle and take days or weeks in a place to pick up on, and may take even longer to explain, or at least explain well. So I'll start with the obvious and easy cultural differences we've encountered and go from there.

Category: toileting

Incredibly there are books on the cultural differences in doing one's business. Crazy, right? I mean we all go #1 and #2, can there really be that many ways to get it done? The answer is yes. And we haven't even made it to Asia where squatting and rinsing (rather than wiping) is the norm!

1. The paper goes in the bin, not in the toilet. Ever.
2. Sometimes you have to pay to use the bathroom. $0.15 gets you permission to enter and 6 squares of TP. Hopefully that is enough for what you were planning to get done.
3. Sometimes the stalls intentionally have no paper. Wait, you mean you didn't see the king-size roll permanently mounted and chained to the wall when you walked in where the others were taking what paper they needed? Well that's embarrassing then...Hopefully you can manage some sort of wiggle and shake to dry off and that you chose full-coverage undies today.
4. Bathroom etiquette says you stand in a single queue and wait your turn for the line to shrink person by person until a stall with your name on it opens, right? Almost always. Unless you are in a rest stop in the middle of Honduras. Then (and how the hell are you supposed to know this), the protocol is to treat the bathroom like the portapotty lineup at Austin City Limits. Pick the stall you want and start to form your own line in front of it.. Instead of drunk co-eds budging in front of you it's a mom with 5 kids. Seriously strange. 8 lines in one bathroom. Why not the one line? I thought it worked so well...

Category: transportation

United States buses are so boring. In Central America buses:

1. Are painted in brilliant colors. Many brilliant colors at the same time.
2. Are decorated with faux shark fins, teeth, etc.
3. May include a turn-style or two. Yes, two turn-styles on a bus. One at the front door, one at the back side door.
4. Usually don't accept payment when you enter, rather each one has a money collector who walks along the bus and collects your fare.
5. Have no max capacity. None. This is not an exaggeration.
6. Use the back emergency exit (think elementary school bus back door) to get you on and off the bus. I was really excited the first time we got to use this service! Now we are pros at it.
7. Encourage solicitation. People very regularly get on the bus to sell you things. This is allowed and encouraged. A superior sales tactic we have noticed consists of passing our your good for sale to every person on the bus. Then going back through the bus and either taking the item back or selling it. Interestingly, this works surprisingly well and daily, we witness people buying stuff they probably didn't need or had no intention of purchasing. We don't fall for this trick!
8. Stop anywhere they want. Bus stops sometimes exist but more frequently don't. Just stand where you want on the road and flag down the bus. Same goes for getting off where-ever you want.
9. Are flagged the same way as a cab in Manhattan. How to call for/wave down a bus: extend arm out in front of you, parallel with the ground, palm down, limp wrist. Now flap your hand up and down really fast. Try it. There you go. Just like that. You just hailed a chicken bus!

Buses are not the only mode of public transit either! Other common ways to get around not frequently seen back home:

1. Stand with 25 others in the back of a pick up. We haven't been in one quite this crowded, but we did have our first pick-up ride just a couple weeks ago. There were 8 people and multiple crates of recyclables getting a lift.
2. Hitch a ride. I know your mother told you never to do this, but here, hitching is quite common. It often amounts to the above mentioned scenario (riding in back of someone's pick-up). The other day though, we had our first hitching experience and it was rather first-class! While waiting for a bus a couple of days ago, a pick-up slowed and offered us a ride. We didn't even call for him (again, limp wrist hand flap would have done the trick). His truck was super nice and we got to sit in the cab/extended cab even. We enjoyed a chat with a local and shaved 30-60 min off of our travel time.

Category: other

1. Very rarely do you pay for your hotel room or show proof of payment when checking in. I particularly love this about Central America. It's a way to show that people trust one another which sometimes seems to not exist in the United States any more. The norm for us is to stay in a hotel/hostel for 4 days, then pay the tab when we leave. You could walk out on your tab, but most people are honest people so this doesn't happen often.
2. Milk costs extra. Almost always. As a person who takes her cafe con leche, this drives me nutty! But I guess the cafe negro drinkers appreciate it. And the other side to this coin is that often, sometimes when you order something and have them “hold the bacon” (I know, what a ridiculous example. Who would ever have them hold the bacon??!?), they discount the cost from the price. This would never happen in back home! You don't want all the crappy side dishes that come with that platter? Too bad, you're paying for it anyway! So I guess over all, paying extra for milk is just fine. Just different. Sugar is free though. You don't pay for sweetness.
3. In a restaurant, you must ask for the bill. If you don't, you can just stay and sit all day if you wish. The server will come and ask you if everything is OK or if you would like anything else, but will not ask you if you want the check. So if it doesn't come, don't think your waitress isn't doing her job. She is and you aren't doing yours. You must ask!

And now I will attempt to convey a more subtle yet very substantial cultural difference: people are very friendly here. I don't mean that Central America is like one big cheer-leading squad, it's not like that. But they are friendly in a different and significant way that I was not used to living in the Bay Area. Again, I will fall on examples to help illustrate what I mean as “friendly” doesn't say enough.

1. When people get on the bus, they often have the biggest smile on their face (imagine my dad, Diesel, walking on to a bus filled with the Swedish Bikini Team. That's how happy they often look). Then they say hello (or good morning/afternoon) to every person they pass until they find a seat. At fist I thought everyone just knew everyone else on the bus, but no. This is just what you do. You say hello to people and you smile.
2. When you stop in the sidewalk to take a picture (there is still room for people to pass. No, you are not being the jackass standing in the middle of the sidewalk stopping foot traffic in all directions, oblivious to the queue starting to wrap around the corner), the gentlemen both in front of you and behind you pause and patiently wait while you get the shot you want. After you realize their kindness and quickly apologize (you didn't even hurry up!) one man says, “It's a beautiful picture. Did you get it? It's a great country here...” Holy cow! “Friendly” doesn't really explain that.
3. A few weeks ago we escaped the rain and went to a small cafe. Three large tables were occupied and 2 smaller ones were vacant but the one further from the door had a woman's bag on one of the chairs. Nearly immediately a woman looked up at me with a huge smile like I was an old friend arriving to have coffee with her. She moved her things wished me a good afternoon and asked how I was. All the time, looking me straight in the eye and smiling so big. She was sitting at a bigger table adjacent to where her bag had been placed. When she got up from doing her business meeting she offered us her larger table and she swapped us.

I just thought of this situation happening to me back in SF. I'd say I'm even one of the more wiling patrons to often offer up a chair or move my things, but typically I feel the attitude and behavior is eyes averted, headphones in, and just willing and hoping that the unlucky shmo who just walked in will take the single available table even if it is the crappiest seat sandwiched between the garbage can and the door.

I know it doesn't sound like a big thing, but they say the small things are the big things and I believe that to be true. It's really nice to walk into a cafe and feel like someone there might actually treat you like they would want to be treated instead of acting like you don't exist. Why do we so often chose avoiding people instead of having small interactions? Why do some of us perceive strangers talking to us as annoying or bothersome? Why do we assume that if someone we don't know starts talking to us they are probably drunk or crazy or trying to sell something or trying to proselytize or trying to hit on us? Sometimes this is the case, but also, sometimes a person just needs directions or help with something. And sometimes the person might have a great story to share, be really interesting, or be just like you. They might be a stranger that becomes your friend. When we ignore everyone assuming the worst, we miss out on what could be the best. And even if that stranger is drunk or crazy or selling things or Bible-beating around town, is it so bad just to listen for a minute? Is it really one minute of your life so wasted? Maybe sometimes it feels that way, but if you have a different perspective, then maybe it never has to feel that way. Instead it can feel human and it can feel really good.   

These recommendations don't apply to that guy.  He couldn't help himself from talking to a stranger even if he tried!  I love you dad!

Please excuse my typos and grammatical errors.  My husband is slacking on the proof-reading.