Whole Wide World Travel : My Heart is Alive in San Pedro

Exactly 8 years ago I was packing up from my apartment in McPherson, Kansas and (again) moving my belongings back to my parents house in Bloomington, Illinois. Two very different things were going on with me (mostly mentally) at that time: I was super excited to be heading to Guatemala on my own for 2 months, and I was freaking out because my 24^th birthday was 4 days away. Let's address the second first because that's a funnier story.

I was 23 years old, summer was just starting, I didn't have a job or bills to worry about and I was crying because in a matter of days I would be turning 24 and that mean that only one year later, I would be turning 25 and therefore, the quarter-life crisis I had read about was only 1 year away and omgwherewasmylifegoing?!!? Seriously, I can hardly believe now how ridiculous this was. I had graduated college in 4 years with 2 degrees, had my dream job of running a successful gymnastics program over the past 5 years, finally started getting boyfriends, was going to move to Lawrence, KS (Rock Chalk) to be with my best friends, and was basically having the life every 23 year old would want. But somehow, through all of that, I was stuck on the fact that in a year and 4 days I would be 25 and probably “wouldn't even have a 'real job' yet”, and why did I ever do anything that led me to where I was because it was such a failure. Jeez, where was the Xanax in 2006? What in the world was my problem? You sure do continue to grow as you enter your early adult years, don't you?

Did I mention at this time I was also leaving for Guatemala in 4 days?! Why wasn't I thinking about that?! I suppose part of me was, once I was done crying. Then I was packing my backpack, dying my hair brown “so I wouldn't stand out”, and trying to convince my parents I wasn't going to die in a developing country. On my birthday in 2006 I arrived in San Pedro la Laguna, Guatemala and it was an experience and adventure that changed my life forever. It was during this time I realized that a big part of what I wanted in life was to travel around the world. People talk about getting bitten by the travel bug, and that was my first real bite. I had been to Mexico, Canada, Belize, and Guatemala before – traveling with my family and with college groups. Doing it on my own though was something different.

Between that trip and leaving with Brandt in February I've been many places: many more solo visits to Central America, a trip to Palestine and Israel with my father, a visit to Germany with a past boyfriend, a volunteer trip to Peru with half of my PA (Physician Assistant) class, a journey through Thailand, Malaysia, Australia, and New Zealand with a best friend from college, and a medical volunteer trip to Kenya. Many times I'm asked by folks, “where is your favorite place you have been”? This is a sweet question, I can appreciate that you are interested in the places I have visited, but please try and understand, this is an impossible and nearly useless question. All of my adventures have been so special to me and fill me with wonderful memories that almost anywhere could answer the question. So sometimes I answer by saying the place I last visited, or by guessing what the questioners favorite place might be and saying that, or by trying to get the person to ask something more specific which I might have a more truthful answer to. However, even though I sometimes do any one of those things, the answer that I give the most and is probably the most accurate is: Guatemala. It's where my soul became alive on a new level because my whole self was opened up to a new world. The people I met in San Pedro la Laguna on my “first trip” are etched into my memory, hopefully for good. I remember their names and faces and stories and I'm so thankful that I shared a time in my life with them.

So for me, returning to San Pedro eight years later was a spiritual experience. Seeing the lake, stepping foot onto the same cobblestone streets, putting my feet up and having a beer at one of the exact same spots I did nearly a decade ago, yet feeling like not a day had passed. Still feeling like me, the same person I've always been, but at the same time clearly so different from that 24 year old young woman I was.

We stayed one week in San Pedro this time. On my last visit it was 5 weeks. Both times I had a bit of a feeling that I could stay forever. It was a wonderful time to reminisce and enjoy the nostalgia but also be present in the moment. The hotel I lived at in 2006 still exists but no longer under the same name. Jarachic is now Casa Atitlan. The rooftop room I once called home for 15Q ($2)/night is still there but now costs $15-20. However, the place still had the same draw and pulled me in years ago. We spent many hours over breakfast or lunch in the garden patio sipping coffee, reading, and studying. Twice we enjoyed a walk to the neighboring town of San Juan and had a lovely morning at the coffee co-op there and learned quite a bit about coffee processing over a delicious cafe Americano (actually the most common cup of coffee served here in Guate).

(actual view from my room in 2006)

Often times our family and friends and strangers ask, “well, what are you doing to do?” or "what do you do every day?" Of course that is a big part of traveling, the things you do everyday. Obviously during our week stay in San Pedro we did more than eat oatmeal at Casa Atitlan and walk to San Juan. But something that is probably more important is, “well, how does it make you feel?" Really, this should be the question for all of us in our lives. Most of us all share the one common goal of just wanting to feel happy in life. The Dalai Lama even agrees that finding happiness really is the purpose in life. So we should all keep this question,“how does it make us feel,” in mind more often when we think about where we live, the jobs we have, the people we choose as our friends, and the things we do every day. Are they making you feel good? Happy? Alive? That's why I am traveling the world – it makes me feel good and happy and alive! It makes me want to smile and be generous and be appreciative (and that sounds like it is keeping me on the right track).

So, cheers to San Pedro la Laguna. You warm my heart and soul. And to everyone finding what makes them feel best.

Please excuse typos and grammatical mistakes. It makes me feel happy to write just the way I do.